Boy howdy. Momma’s got a squeeze box and daddy ain’t going to sleep to night.

It is beyond me to understand how an obviously high class, intelligent woman with the fashion sense to know just how high the slit is supposed to go in a dress would choose to play the accordian.

I recognize that the accordian can be an effective form of birth control, but I think you are sending out mixed messages when you play it while wearing that dress.

Miss California had to withdraw from the beauty pagent after an accident during the talent competition involving the air conditioner and her accordian.

Yeah, I’d polka her.

Now we know why Clinton went into Bosnia and hasn’t *ahem* withdrawn yet.

“The Champagne Bubbles Made My Dress Shrink.”

Crescendos accompanied by screams and moans.

Upon seeing a hot chick with an accordian, I’d no idea if I’d gone to heaven or to hell.

Unfortunately this wasn’t the squeeze box everybody wanted to watch Anna play.

AFP Correction: The song should be Lay-ya…not Layla.

“New Design For The Thigh Master.”

The Portable Mammogram Machine.

Ronco’s Newest Juicer.

Mrs. Wierd Al Yankovic

Per request, the lead singer of the Dixie Chicks wowed the crowd by playing the final stanza with her mouth!